REUNION TIME!!!!

What:  Benson Family Reunion
When: July 20-23
Where:  Bear Lake
Who: All 32 of us
Why:  To make super fun memories!

9 months

Wow...  9 months old little guy.  Here is what you have been up to:

22 pounds!  (and you wear 12-18 month clothes)  You're a big boy!
Climbing over everything
Pulling yourself up on furniture and mom and dad
Take steps with help
Can clap, roll hands, wave bye bye and shake head no no when asked
Cut your first tooth
Smiles and laughs ALL day long.  You don't really cry.
When waving bye bye you said "ba ba" 
Gave mommy your first open mouth kiss.  She jumped up and down with joy!

4th of July time!!

Independence day is one of my very favorite holidays.  I love the feeling of patriotism I get when I see the fireworks and hear the patriotic music.  I am reminded how blessed we are to live in such an amazing country-state-city all the way down to our neighborhood.  I am greatful for every person that is fighting-and has ever fought- for the freedoms that we enjoy and a lot of times take for granted.  During the fireworks this year Ella became very emotional.  (she is more like me than I ever imagined)  She cried tears for her great grandfathers that were involved in the war.  She feels the same gratitude that I do.  Thank you to all of you.

The other fantastic part of this time of year is the chance we have to be around family-alot! 

Lots of boating:
Trying out some wakeboarding.  Love it.
Parker is fantastic on the boat.  Such a trooper that sits still in his big bulky jacket.
Ella working on her skiing skills

Late night bbq's and smores and fireworks:
These summer nights are getting later and later!

FireworksWatching KANSAS with grandma and grandpa Alley
Of course a great fireworks show.

I met up with two of my highschool besties.  We met up at a local park to catch up.  This is what we have been up to.....having babies :)  It was so fun to be back together again!  Ever since Ella got to hold a little baby girl, she decided it is time for a sister.  Yikes.

happy

sad

Now it is not so much the 4th- but the party does continue.  Oh yes it does.

Lots more boating.  Of course.  A few times this summer the lake has been picture perfect.  The last 2 Friday nights we have been the only boat on the lake.  Smooth as glass and perfect weather.  The water even feels good.  I have loved learning to wakeboard; Ella is finally enjoying the ski; and Dustin is just in heaven on the water.

The Colorado Bensons are in town and we have had a couple nights of dinner

at our house with the Bensons.

One night the twins stayed over and had a sleep over with Ella.

Next on the docket- 4 day family reunion at Bear Lake!

"If you think my hands are full...you should see my heart"

There have been moments lately- happening quite often- when it feels like my heart is over flowing and it might just burst.  I have been watching these 2 kiddos grow close together and begin a special bond.  I could sit and watch them together for hours.  It is so special for me to see.

One of the hardest parts for me to deal with when we struggled with infertility was that I could not give Ella a sibling.  I wanted that for her more than anything and it tore my heart apart that it was out of our reach.  So when I see her with her baby brother- I really dont have adequate words to describe how fulfilling that is.  She is a little mommy in the making.  She is kind, patient, playful and so sweet with Parker.  She reads to him, teaches him shapes and colors and the alphabet.  He is going to be so smart with her as a teacher.  I've said it before and I'll say it again.  Parker lights up when Ella is around. 

I have not been emotionally able to "reminisce" (for a lack of a better word) about our 4 years of infertility.  I could not bare to go back there and open my heart to how hard it was.  I have put it in the back of my mind until now.  Seeing these two together has lead my mind back to a time before Parker made his appearance.  I finally let myself remember- how much we all wanted this little guy, how much pain it brought when it seemed impossible.  The emotions have come back to me- at least slowly. 

I keep thinking "I cant believe he is here.  I can't believe he is really here. 

Obivously my heart is still healing.  I still feel a little twinge in my gut when others make their pregnancy annoucements or see a pregnant belly.  I still have many feelings built up and kept inside that I have not let come up.  I still feel a deep pain when loved ones experience the same heartache.  However, even though my heart is different than it used to be.... it is completely full.
The Lord helped me to fill my heart during those hard years.  He helped me to find joy in spite of our trials.  He started to heal my heart long before we actually were blessed with Parker.  That to me is one of the many miracles that I recieved during those years.

 And now these 2 are together....I just can't believe it.....