The Bensons ... and our Journey: October 2012

1 year ago today I went into labor for the 2nd time. Our darling little boy was coming. Our little guy that we waited for, prayed for, wished for and thought about for years was coming!

Ella and I had plans to eat lunch together at her school sometime at the end of October. Tuesday morning after my Dr appt, I had the thought that we should do lunch earlier than planned, and suprise her that very day. So we had a super fun lunch and recess together. It's a good thing I listened to that thought because a few hours later I was in the hospital and would not get the chance for a very long time to eat lunch with her at school again. In fact, this Friday will be the next time we get that chance.

Anyway, It is a weird feeling to be admitted to the hospital, being told that you are not leaving until you have a baby with you. It is surreal and scary. But so exciting.

I remember.....

I remember having such a bad stabbing pain in my side for hours at home that I was scared to death that something was wrong. We still don't know exactly what it was, but it was a good thing I was forced to go to the hospital. Parker had a lot of meconium in with him that would have been very dangerous had I stayed pregnant too much longer.

I remember that I was also scared to death to get an epidural. The last one was a nightmare. The nurse could not believe how much I was panicking. I held on to Dustins hands so hard I could not even feel mine anymore. But alas, the second time was a dream compared to the first time.

I remember about 2 hours before he was born, I realized we had not chosen a name for him. He came early and with the rush of the day, it had not crossed our minds. We decided on Parker or Porter and Dustin said it was my choice. I told him to choose the middle name.
****Side story about his middle name I need to record.
When Dustin was a week old, him grandma and grandpa came to visit and his grandpa Neal held Dustin for the very first time. That night his grandpa suffered a heart attack and passed away. Dustin never knew him. But he has always felt close to him. I believe that his grandpa has been one of his gaurdian angels. Dustin chose the name Neal for Parker.

Ella told me awhile later that when she stayed at Grandma Alley's overnight, she could not eat. She was too nervous. When Ella came to see me before the baby was born, she looked terrified. I can still picture her face. This was a big day for her as well.

I also will never forget when Ella held her baby brother in her arms and she sobbed tears of joy for an hour. She loved him the second she laid eyes on him. She told Heavenly Father so many times Thank you for Parker.

I remember the Dr saying he was way bigger than he thought he would be. He was way bigger than I thought he would be as well. He was big and healthy and for that I am grateful.

I remember being in a lot of pain after and I thought "this is the last time" But I dont remember that pain now. That only lasted a little while.

What I do remember is every single tear I cried waiting for Parker to come to earth. I remember each prayer offered by us, and by others. I remember the complete disbelief and amazement the moment I learned he was coming; falling to my knees and sobbing and thanking the Lord. I remember feeling him grow and kick. I remember his tiny body the first time I held him. Every ounce of pain both physically and emotionally (before and after) was completely worth it. I would do every single part of it all again.

The last year has been a whirlwind. It feels like I just got on here to record his birth story. Parker has completely changed our family. He is a miracle to us and brings us total joy. I am so grateful and humbled for this little guy.

Parker is learning to stand a little better. He LOVES being a big kid!

Ella has a major sweet tooth. She reminds me a lot of her dad. She would eat the whole plate if we let her.

We get to see this smile all day long.

Sometimes I wonder what they are doing together. They find the weirdest ways to entertain themselves.

It has been so hard to get some of Parkers steps on tape. If i get out the video camera he ceases everything to play with the camera. (I tried to tape and get him balanced on his feet at the same time. It is very wiggly) But I got a couple of steps!

We love our lunch dates with Grandma!